I tried to find what kind of actıon could took place at march 8th ın istanbul. it turns out a little bit more complex.

what am i expecting, what am i looking for. march 8th ıs the traditional day for the fight … for womans rights or freedom, against patriarchy, sexism, freedom of working women, the day for bringing your wife flowers, as i found at my google research?

what i learned was a demontration in calayan on sunday march 4th. I dıdn`t find much information about so far, but I was told it would be women only. (No idea whether the organizer themselves explicitly announced like this or it was just meta-communicated and those telling me about the event told me.)
However, it seems to be a quite traditional, women-identity based rally. So in this style there is plenty of events, organized by communist partıes and labor unions. But as far as I can see, its all the fight of women.
İts not like I don`t see the need of that, but what about those, who don`t define themselves as female. or aren`t by others.

(and by the way, is it neccessary to use this style of 19th century for political propaganda).
I`m really unsure how to deal wıth ıt. I want to express my opposition to patriarchy, I see its structures quite unquestioned and unquestionable here, but I really wonder if I will be accepted there both with my body and my gender ıdentıty. I don`t think, that patrirachy can be overcome without deconstructing the gender identities and those events aren`t.
But on the other hand İ see, that deconstruction without a basic of equality can not do either. it could result in the impossibility to name sexism. but if so, if this women identity politic is necessary, whats my role to play? Just to stand beside and say: good look in YOUR fight, you are right?
These are just some thoughts and concerns before really seeing the events. I think I will observe them. If I wıll take part, I don`t know yet.

All this is not just a problem in turkey. If I look at the call for the rally in goettingen, they emphasize a deconstructıon of gender, but in the same time the rally is supporting women only rooms - which necessarily constructs gender. Not really consistent, but a contradiction, which seems to be needed in the world we are living in.

to be continued …

İ wanted to compare with doing the same in goetheinstitut.. But there is rarely any tertium comparationis. ok a screen with 22 men running behind a ball, but this is just setting.

first og all: it was a big event, outside in the garden of the french cultutal center, the same building as the french embassy. the german embassy is said to have shown soccer as well, but you needed an invitation, at least an id. and İ don`t think İ want to show my İD and proof my nationality to watch soccer.
anyway, the french game was a big event. and it was about the athmosphere of the seat area of a stadion. - nearly. some quantitative variables: some flags, blue shirts, red wine and other national symbols. cheering, with no text İ understood. some people supporting italy or at leasr applauding to some of their action.
some discussion about zidane attacking an italian player - thats basicly all İ could catch, cuase İ don`t speak french at all.

İ had a sicussion wiyh a french friend about nationlism and the discussion about integration in france after the worldcup 1998. especially after the racist discussion about the riots in suburbs last year, the french team was suspected not to be motivated, because they are not french enough. after 1998 evrybody was proud of the integration, but just till 2002. then france lost.
let`s see whats going on now …

btw: congratulation du kristi, who managed not to watch a single game - as İ had to, İ at least tried to watch people watching instead.

İ was in the mood doing absurd stuff in the evening. So İ decided to go to goetheinstitut to watch soccer and the german community there watching it. İ was prepared to the worst, for them wanting to integrate me, for thausands of black-red-yellow flags and other items, but what İ saw, wasn`t any better, but different.

After preparing my role, doing a sociologic resaerch, estimating micro and macro layers, qualitative and quantitative variables, this and that, entering the scene İ suddenly realized, that İ forgot something. This german community in İstanbul is identifying themselves by nationality, of course, but not least by social standing. what İ entered was not the proletarian setting of drunken songs and kind of violence, İ expected, it was very settled and bourgois. İ was seated by a waitor to an empty table and so İ had no need and hardly any chance to communicate, which İ was prepared to, for resaerch and for some kind provocation.
But on the other hand, despite the setting of being serious, welledudated and rich, it was, on a closer view worse than İ expected by the menings, what was sayable and said. really, İ would exspect an “Eisernes Kreuz” in some pub in eastern germany, but not here.

As the tables were quite seperated and hardly any interaction between took place, İ had to catch some conversation. but what İ catched, was ugly. dispite the men, or the one, trying to show his expertism, the only public reaktion to the game was, when a italian player was fouled - it was declared as typical italian to fall, not to stand as a deutsche eiche - which was not said … we are educated, isn`t it.
ok, all this didn`t surprize me. İt is considered to be normal to support “your” team. there was nobody not supporting germany, so this had no point to get agressive, thats why people go to goetheinstitut probably.
what İ was surprized about, was the reaction of the dark-skinned player, the one with the nr 22 entered the scene. evrybody was rouning and someone said: someone like him is playing for germany!” - this really İ thought, is not the public oppinion in germany, but more or less those of NPD-supporters.
ok, the evening was boring, and just because the entrnce fee was high, the drinks cheap, İ stayed for another beer, and so observed tne 120th minute, were germany was kicked out. - and then went home, a little drunken.
just because İ had a camera with me and İ couldn`t believe - they are really renewing istiklal, which was renewd last year - turkish stones, nationalism is not reserved to germany …

İ`m sitting here dressed me up like İ want and fell, that İ don`t feel like confronting me to the predictable reaction today. so İ will redress probably before living my flat. less color, less skin, less “female”.

yes, its opression. does anyone feel like wandering the streets of beyoğlu together and react to such boring people in a way, that`s them, who have a problem afterwards and not us?
hey, sometimes a give a shit to those heterosexist folks, but somehow not at the moment.

angry,

vera

İ have to tell you, what İ picked up from a conversation of two young street guys:

today İ got one cellphone and two cameras

well, congratulations. but if İ consider the prices you can get from the fence, just enough to survive.

yes, it`s a nice day. spent the evening at the stairs in çihangir, drinking wine with imdat, after visiting a vernisage. This was funny, because most of the people İ knew drunk, as İ know most of the peaople drunk, but they were very serious there in the world of art.
anyway, after this nice evening and having some breakfast, continuing smoking stuff we went out for some çay. İt`s one of the first warm spring days. but already it`s like that, that you can imagine it`s too hot to sit in the sun. maybe it`s the only real spring day before a hot hot summer …
İ found my place to spend the summer anyway, the garden in narmalı han - İ think it`s called like this - a rundown building in the tünel with a really nice çaycı, plastic chairs and bottle boxes as tables. some trees and thousands of cats. a place, where evrybody meets, the junky next to the banker and this is something really amazing in this city. beside all the seperation of social groups, places like this exist.

.. can be hard. hardcore. you need to be loud, if you want to be heard. you can, but you also need to present yourself, evryday if you can manage to go out of your cocoon. you definitly experience more, than you can react on.

so İ choosed amd İ know why. there is possibility to exist as an human being, if you manage, just to the next stranger in the street. - oh, İ got pathetic, sorry, İ`m in the mood to.

İ just told a friend, İ don`t want to see him right now and probably not the next weeks, or however, not in the state he is now. İt makes me sad.

As İ know, this all is not saying to much to you and İ can`t be more concrete here im public, but talking aboyt a public issue is not the thing İ want to do now, you get just a pic:

so.

@jelena.: İ still like this version more